When pregnancy happened I was completely taken aback. I was so afraid of losing myself. Professionally, I was exactly where I wanted to be. Pregnancy is so often looked upon as a career killer. Unsurprisingly, I thought everything I had achieved so far was about to disappear. How could someone who had worked tirelessly 14-hour days, curating arts and public relation events, suddenly be expected to give all that up in order to become nothing more than “a mum”?
Six weeks pregnant, love brought me to London. I was sure my background, languages and outgoing personality would make it quite easy to find a job … but it was much harder than expected. With hindsight, despite the frustration of not finding a job in this city of opportunities, I have come to believe that everything happened for a reason. I started to feel this incredible force from within, as he was growing inside of me.
After the 5th month of pregnancy my body underwent enormous changes: my belly grew bigger and as my physical transformation became more apparent, that force inside of me also grew stronger and more physical. I was being influenced by that wondrous little creature that was generating a creative rush like I had never felt before, inspiring me to become even more driven and persevering.
I was in full bloom. I wanted to drown myself in the ocean of creative ideas crossing my mind; start painting and playing music again. So one night, before falling asleep, I suddenly pictured the logo in my mind’s eye: a light bulb and a foetus…and I would call it ProCreate.
At first I thought it was the beginning of an event; I was not sure what I was creating it for, and I was alone when I started this journey. But now I have travel companions and I am building up my company, and it is all thanks to this creative process that I experienced in my life…when I least expected it!
I struggled to find a community where other female artists could express this creative feeling or, indeed, any medium that talked about the connection between creativity and pregnancy. I wondered whether I might be going crazy; was I really the only woman on earth to be feeling this way?
It surprised me that the information readily available on the internet regarding pregnancy mostly deals with all the problems you are likely to face. It is such a negative approach. There is very little that talks of, or celebrates, this phenomenon artistically.So I started advertising online for other female artists who may relate to me and my new-found passion. It was not long before responses started to pour in.
By sharing my story with other artists I finally realized that what I felt was real. After a long period of solitude, I felt I had found something beyond my initial expectations: the friendships I have formed with all these women, and the stories I have heard from other females are simply amazing. I am not saying that every woman feels or should feel as we do, but there are many that do and I truly believe it is important to empower and support that – and them. This journey helped me rearrange my priorities and find out what really mattered to me.
There are women who have created incredible art and worked more passionately during pregnancy and continuing after they become mothers, no matter the challenge and lack of support. We definitely need to encourage this and make it possible in any way we can.