As Courtney Smith prepares for her first Fringe comedy performance, she and Josh Thomas reflect on their platonic love, what being a ‘battler’ means, and Courtney’s failed auditions for Josh’s show Please Like Me.
Courtney on Josh
Josh and I met through my now ex-girlfriend. In the beginning, everyone always asked us how long we’d been friends which I really found annoying, because why is that so important to everyone in terms of how close we were? But now it’s been a decade!
I think we became friends because Josh couldn’t talk to anyone and I am friendly with every single person in the world. We fit quite nicely in that regard because although Josh can be scared of strangers, he likes humans quite a lot.
I’m not good at thinking things through, I am very much a ‘what’s the worst that could happen?’ kind of person and Josh is very detail-driven. He’s very forgiving when I’ve hatched a plan that backfires and ends up getting us both in trouble.
Josh is idiosyncratic and a total kook, which I am enamoured by 99.9% of the time. His obsessions are very real and can turn with the wind. This means sometimes I’m learning a lot about Chablis, the ancient art of glass blowing or getting my colours done. His phase of creating the most elaborate garnishes for Bloody Marys was really funny.
Lately it’s been his Hibachi grill. Watching Josh experiment with cooking crocodile, quail and wallaby, tinkering away on his grill is obviously so fun, but I don’t want to actually eat any of those things.
Josh wrote a part for me in his show Please Like Me and I auditioned twice. The ABC paid for an acting coach and everything, but I’m just such a terrible actor. I didn’t get the gig. I think I’ve worked it out now though, so please do send audition requests to curlycourtney@bigpond.com – which is the name of my Fringe show, but also is my actual email address.
Once we were at a festival, watching the sunrise and I was chatting to a new group of friends that I’d made for us and this lovely guy looked at me and was like: ‘Oh… you’re a battler.’ I said: ‘No, I’m not.’ And Josh just cackled for about five minutes, so I wrote this show to try and work out if I actually am a battler or not.
It’s not all roses though, being friends with Josh. Just a few days ago we had a big dinner party at our place and I made people vote on whose sauce was better, my basil cream or his burnt butter. He won unanimously, which was excruciating.
Josh is steadfast and makes me feel deeply valued and cared for. I really love him.
Josh on Courtney
I was friends with Courtney’s ex-girlfriend and I got to keep her in the break up.
The truth is that Courtney is a very silly person. Some girls are all curls. They have a really big mop of blond curly hair to make up for not having a personality. This is not the case with Courtney. Her curls are a free bonus.
Courtney is not to be trusted in organising a night out, choosing the restaurant or planning the overseas holiday. This suits me because those are all things that I have a particular penchant for. Courtney is in charge of making us friends and I am in charge of the rest.
Courtney has a very light spirit even though she has been through a lot. You could never tell by looking at her, unless you look at her hands. Her hands are dry and scraggly with a dark aura. I got her some special gloves that she can wear at night to try and fix this but they can’t be fixed because it’s not an external issue, her hands. It comes from within.
She invites too many people to things. She gets very excited. One time she was in big trouble with her girlfriend for inviting too many people to an airbnb at Torquay for the weekend. While she was on the phone telling me about how she’d invited way too many people, she invited me to come and stay. She does things like this all the time by accident and it’s startling that I never learn.
We both love the movie Cabaret and can not tolerate being in trouble by anyone, ever for any reason. We both understand that we should be in trouble by everybody, all the time for every reason.
We both are excellent cooks, although sometimes I watch her cook three full meals in 15 minutes, with the dishes already done and I just can’t believe what a workhorse she is in that kitchen for her family.
She’s like that with most things, very bullish. Not at all nuanced. She’ll skull her glass of Chablis before I’ve even had a chance to talk to her about the legs on the wine.
I’m so worried people wont come to her Fringe show – so if I see you there and you mention this article I will give you a prize.
