What it’s like to be my mother

What it’s like to be my mother begins from the perspective of Julia, the teenage daughter of a physically disabled mother who is bound to a wheelchair. Julia, now in her late teens, has made a documentary on the life of her mother Monika with footage covering how Monika’s disability since an accident changed their lifestyle and outlook as a scrapbook of their lives together. Julia does not seem to have a particular reason to create the documentary which disturbs Monika.

The reluctant Monika is not sure that she wants the world to view a documentary on her life as a character whose shades of mood vary as much as fast-moving clouds depending on her day. Monika’s deep sarcasm affects everyone with dark comments such as one made about Julia: ‘Why do I need a therapist when I have my own pseudo-psychologist at home?’ Her distant and bitterly restrained behaviour only shows the surface of what lies underneath as strong nuances of her temperament cannot be held back for the frustration that she feels as someone whose personal motto is ‘Don’t ever become attached to anything or anyone.’

Throughout this film, Julia – played by Olga Frycz, is trying to connect her experience to the rest of the world but not without her mother making it hard for her. As an only child, she is having to experience being her mother’s carer all on her own. For only a thirty minute film, this piece managed to cover such a broad range of raw and natural emotions in relation to the life of the Monika played brilliantly by Iza Kuna. You realise that Julia’s character is equally as restrained as Monika’s and that by creating the film she is forming a wonderful tribute to their life together thus far, which could not have been expressed in any other way but with the outer perspective that the camera provides.

Even the taxi driver, Jurek, played by Wojciech Mecwalowski brings such gravitas to this film as someone who cannot help but become emotionally involved when Monika says such things as “There’s hope as long as I still have choices.” You realise how much Jurek would love to express his emotions for Monika which is hard given her ambivalence to getting close to anyone.

This film ought to be compulsory viewing, particularly for people who have not had any experience with disability in any form and I enjoyed it so much that I watched it twice. The characters are so real and lovable, as you can see yourself in each person’s shoes. As my partner works in the care industry, the emotions that Monika experiences are very real to life as they remind me so much of people he has mentioned in anecdotes to me over the years. The director, Nora McGettigan deserves applause for making sure that this film was as down-to-earth as possible. It gives you such an appreciation for how the balance of our lives change as Monika goes from being a physically able journalist to one in a wheelchair, suddenly dependent on Julia who could leave the nest as soon as her ambitions take her elsewhere. It is a hard subject to tackle, and it has done so without being the least bit cliché.

What it’s like to be my mother (2007)
Poland

Part of The Other Film Festival
25 – 29 August, 2010