The beginning of courage

It has always happened to me that each year in my life is named. For instance, 2008 was a really hard period of time and hence, it was known as the year of “Broken Idols” – sharing its name with a novel written by Venezuelan author Manuel Diaz Rodriguez in 1901. That year I saw all my beliefs crumble in front of my eyes, especially my political ideology. 2009 was “The Surrender of the Ego”; a beautiful year during which I had experiences that I never thought I would. I learnt how to put my ego aside and not rule my life.

My years begin between the 24th and 29th of June. For some strange reason, something unusual has happened to me every year, between these days. Coincidentally, the 24th of June is “Saint Anthony’s Day”. In Venezuela, Saint Anthony is celebrated all along the coast with drumming and devotional African dance. On the 24th of June this year I received notification from Australian Migration that my Permanent Residency was approved and that I can live in this beautiful country for an indeterminate period of time.

I had to leave Australia for eight working days to finalise my visa so I decided to go to Thailand and Laos. I had never been to Asia before and my initial reaction was intense. Maybe it was because the concept of the city for them is completely different to ours.

One of the main differences that stood out was the fact that the relationship between a building’s space and informal markets was not established. As a consequence, buildings do not breathe, they are embedded between one another. In front of them, numerous sellers reduce a space that could has been used by pedestrians as a footpath to set up their informal businesses full of colours and all kind of amazing, unimaginable wares. Thanks to this, everybody is indirectly pushed to buy something, and the most amazing thing is that these markets are open from eight in the morning until midnight.

When I was there one question flashed in my mind. What is the real concept of “public” in Thailand and Laos? While countries such as Australia have many rules and regulations concerning public liability amongst other issue in the instance that a person, group or institution wants to use a common “public” space, the Asian countries I visited were not really concerned with these issues. Space belongs to the people who are there. Hence, abusing or not abusing these spaces is not a topic of discussion in their societies.

The strong influence of Buddhist values on society is evident everywhere. There are Buddhist temples in every single city, it doesn’t matter how big or small they are. People pray at least once a day as part of their commitment to religion and faith.

I have always had my own faith which is an odd mix of religions. Buddhism has been the main influence and it is the one faith that I have practiced long term. However, recently I have been wondering when we have to calm down our internal animal and when we have to let it be. In this conversation with myself I found out that I was still full of fears and attachments. These fears didn’t allow me to act without attachment but rather they polluted my decisions to the point that I am no longer sure if in the past I decided what I wanted or what was convenient for me.

Then, something became clear - I had to start fighting against my fears. At the same time I remembered one of the most powerful sentiments expressed by Mother Teresa: war, nothing; peace, everything. I needed to wage my battle in a positive way and so I decided to change my first resolution for my “new year” beginning in June 2010 from “The end of fear” to “The beginning of courage”.

Cities can be thought of as centres of isolation in which people are starved of affection and are lost in the crowd without a clear individual identity. The continuing task of fitting into the dynamic of the city makes people apathetic and contributes to their loss of connection with the environment. Maybe, for this reason, human beings become disconnected from themselves and fear leads their lives.