Mike Wilmot - dirty old bastard

  

A "bear-like, gravel-voiced" Canuck, nearing 50, with a dirty mouth that's won him several awards – including the Melbourne International Comedy Festival’s highest, the Barry Award – Mike Wilmot is the kind of comedian who would rather time his performance by beers drunk than by the clock. He's a hard-drinking, "politically and anatomically incorrect" comedian for adults.

“Definitely not for kids,” he told me some years back. “Well, kids you like. If you want to fuck up your neighbour’s children, then by all means...”

Wilmot is well known to Melbourne audiences, having developed a taste for the city during several MICF visits over the past almost-decade or so, but he’s yet to pop Adelaide’s cherry. All that’s about to change, however, as he prepares to deflower the city of churches from next week. Asked what virgin Adelaidians can expect, Wilmot says matter-of-factly “don’t bring your grandma, unless she’s got a dirty sense of humour.”

Despite his reputation, Wilmot doesn’t define himself as a shock comic. “I’m not trying to offend anyone,” he says, “but let’s just say I’m graphic. To me though, it’s just an honest look at myself and the people I’m around. And if people laugh it seems to me to be a bit of an acceptance – like maybe I’m not as much of a freak as I think I am.”

He does like to let his freak flag fly, however, and it’s filthy. Yet familiar. And that’s part of what’s made him a successful comedian, it seems. Wilmot’s often-pornographic comedy could be your life. The only difference is that he’s made a living out of airing his dirty laundry.

And that’s all he’s ever wanted to do. “Sadly,” he jokes. So despite a few “goofy” jobs – “I tried wallpaper removing for almost two hours” – when he was a youngster, he’s been a full-time stand-up for a long time now. “I don’t even want to begin to count,” he says. “But my hands are smooth. I haven’t really worked for a living. And sadly, I’m proud of that. I’m proud of my baby-bottom hands. I recommend comedy for anybody who wants to soften up their hands.”

It sounds like a pretty good job, this. A working comedian who doesn’t really work. So what’s the trick? “Over the years I find that it’s soaked right through to the bone,” he replies. “You never stop looking at things through the eyes of a comic. And if you accept that and enjoy that, it enhances your life immensely. It can also drive you crazy,” he admits. “But I’ve taken it in; I sleep it.”

When it comes to writing, however, Wilmot calls himself pathetic. “I tend to work it out from brain to mouth on stage,” he says. But he’s not improvising. “I’ll think about it all day beforehand, and maybe make the odd notes so I’ll remember specific words but I always prefer to work it out on stage.”

As such, he tries to work open mics once or twice a week when he can. “I enjoy that sometimes more than I enjoy a professional show,” he admits. “It frees you up, because they haven’t paid to get in, you’re not being paid to go on, you owe them nothing, they owe you nothing and it’s this real basic comedy thing. The original comedy, I suppose.

“And over the last few years I’ve tried to put more of that into my show. I want my audience to know they’re watching someone live. I don’t wanna be too slick.”

There’s no danger of that. Indeed, Australia brings out Wilmot’s relaxed side, he says. “I can let my guard down. In London, regardless of how well you’re doing, you always assume there’s going to be a lunatic who’ll throw a bottle at you. In Australia I can relax. I think it’s good for comedy, although sometimes I just have an urge to lay down in a hammock.”

Maybe that’s his next show? Mike Wilmot from Hammock.

“Oh my god, that could be this show! That’s a good idea. I’ll switch from beer to pineapple drink. With vodka, of course.”

Don’t let this lazy image fool you though. Mike Wilmot promises to be as uncompromising and unadulterated as ever.

Mike Wilmot performs in Adelaide at the Garden of Unearthly Delights, as part of the Adelaide Fringe Festival, from 28 February until 18 March. He then heads to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival from 29 March until 22 April.